My Story
This is my story about CFS, unfiltered: I have always loved sports and fitness. After years of working as a graphic designer, I was on the brink of a new chapter in my life: becoming a personal trainer. It was 2004, and I had just moved from Germany to Melbourne with my husband and two little children.
Though I loved our Australian life, it was not without challenges. Our marriage was under strain, and with two young boys needing my care, this new career seemed like the perfect fit—a way to balance being a mum, wife, and working woman.
But then I got sick.
At first, I thought it was just a virus, something that had sapped my energy. My muscles felt as if they had given up on me, and I found myself confined to bed for days, then weeks. Still, I convinced myself it would pass. But it didn’t. That’s when my journey with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS unfiltered) began.
CFS Unfiltered
When the illness showed no signs of improving, I went to see my doctor. He diagnosed me with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
“What the hell is chronic fatigue?” I asked, bewildered.
The doctor explained that the condition was often considered psychosomatic and that no one truly understood its causes or what was happening in the body. He told me there was no medication or cure. Like so many others with CFS, I had to navigate this illness on my own, with little guidance or support.
The news was unsettling and surreal. But with a family to care for and a life to live, I went home without fully grasping the weight of what he had said.
The early stages of CFS
For eight months, I lived through cycles of good days and bad days. I clung to hope, believing the illness would eventually fade. During this time, my family and I relocated from Melbourne to Brisbane. Despite my symptoms, I managed to pack up our life and settle in a new home with my husband and our boys, then 6 and 8 years old.
One morning, feeling unusually energetic, I decided to jog down to the river. The workout felt amazing—invigorating and refreshing. I returned home, excited about our new beginning and my plans to finally start my career as a fitness trainer.
But the relief was short-lived.
By the time I got home, my energy had plummeted, my body ached, and I felt utterly drained. It was that morning I realized this wasn’t something that would simply “blow over.” My hope of recovery crumbled, and I came to terms with the fact that my life had changed in ways I wasn’t prepared for.
The chronic phase
After eight months of living with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) in its early stages, feeling days of massive energy loss and weak muscles, the chronic phase of CFS kicked in. Just standing up from a chair or my bed was crippling. I felt like an eighty-year-old woman. My limbs were in pain, especially my legs, which constantly tingled. My muscles cramped up intensely., and my whole body felt inflamed.
Darkness and despair
Living with this chronic pain and debilitation impacted my rocky marriage. Soon, my husband and I began living separately under the same roof. But my children kept me going – for them, I pulled myself together as much as possible. But my dreams of being a fitness trainer vanished. Darkness and despair crept in. I knew my life, which was stressful and unhappy, needed to change. But I couldn’t see how.
Treatments for the chronic phase
I knew there were no drugs to treat CFS and that I would have to find my way of coping. So I read everything and tried everything. Many people talked about their relief from taking supplements, like fish oil, vitamin D, and calcium, so I tried them.
I was already a vegetarian but optimized my diet with natural supplements like vitamins and minerals. Some people swore by holistic treatments, so I tried acupuncture, massage, yoga, meditation, Reiki, and Ayurvedic treatments. Others said counselling was key, so I tried that too, even hypnotherapy. All of it. For over a decade.
Exercise saved me
Some days it was impossible to move. But on the better days, I exercised. If I overworked my body, it sometimes took days to recover. But I learned how to handle different doses of exercise. I learned to listen carefully to my body and when not to push too hard. Through this, I developed a process of working out different body parts at different times, which was crucial – because exercise stopped my body from getting weaker.
Holistic approach
Is there one remedy for CFS? No. That is why I believe in a holistic approach—because it is only when we address our body, mind, and soul simultaneously that we can become healthy.
There is nothing wrong with you!
Ten years back, in the middle of the chronic phase of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS unfiltered), I was moving from one country to another, trying to control my life and condition. Years passed, but CFS was still my invisible companion – always there to shake me up just when I thought I was over it. When I’ve talked to people about it, they’ve looked at me with ignorance or skepticism. Because I look fine, because CFS is not a visible illness, few people really understand what I go through. Even the medical community finds it hard to understand Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
The energy flow is damaged
But after living over a decade with CFS, I realized it is a physical depression. Many of us live with self-doubt, stress, and anxiety. Some of us successfully suppress it, “getting on with life,” instead of addressing our unhappiness or anxieties. However, inner stress and tension also wear down the nervous system. Then if something upsetting happens, it can trigger an unexpected jolt to our system, interrupting our energy flow or, in the worst case, stopping it. Our body freezes and can begin to break down, like mine did when I felt as if my muscles had just stopped working, and I couldn’t get out of bed. CFS develops slowly and breaks through after a long period of tension and suppressed emotions.
From medical news today
Many people use the words ‘sign’ and ‘symptom’ interchangeably. However, important differences affect their use in the field of medicine. Any objective evidence of a disease, such as a skin rash or a cough, is a sign. A doctor, family members, and the individual experiencing the signs can identify these. ” Read more: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/161858.php
Understand what you can’t see!
Since ancient times, people have known that there is more to us than skin, bones, blood, and nerves. They know that our bodies need a smooth flow of energy – the life force to pulsate freely through us – to become healthy. We must clear blockages and deal with our underlying conditions to improve our energy flow and life. Suppose you learn about the subtle energy bodies and chakras, the energy points within our consciousness, and the physical and mental interconnections of your being. In that case, you can change or adapt to trying circumstances like me. This is how I’ve learned to live with CFS unfiltered, my invisible companion.
