A personal journey of collapse and recovery
On 29th December 2021, my life changed drastically. That evening, something didn’t feel right, but I brushed it off and went to bed. The next morning, I woke up knowing something serious had happened. It felt like someone had pulled the plug on my body. I could barely crawl to the bathroom. My arms and legs felt like lead. The tinnitus was unbearable, I felt nauseous, and my entire body ached. It was like the worst hangover, the flu, and the exhaustion of a mountain hike—all at once. I felt frightened and completely lost.
Looking back, I now realise that this perfect storm had been brewing for years. I’d been under huge stress—coping with the loss of my father, starting a new job, battling Covid, and reacting badly to both the flu and Covid vaccines. For years, I ignored the signs. I didn’t listen to my body or respect its limits. I kept pushing through, thinking I was invincible. But eventually, my brain and body had had enough.
The collapse: becoming housebound through CFS
2022 became the hardest year of my life. I made some progress in the spring, but I pushed too hard, too fast. By July, I collapsed completely—mentally and physically. From then on, things spiraled. I became housebound through CFS, and often even bedbound. These were some of my darkest days. I couldn’t manage even the simplest tasks. The worst part? I had no idea what was happening, and medical professionals couldn’t give me answers. Their advice felt vague and inconsistent, and the healthcare system left me feeling abandoned.
At one point, doctors wrongly diagnosed me with a brain aneurysm. Others feared it might be cancer. I ended up in hospital three times. At my lowest, my wife had to wash me because I couldn’t move.
Some of the symptoms I experienced during that time included:
- Crippling fatigue that kept me housebound through CFS
- Nausea
- Swollen lymph nodes
- Heart palpitations (my heart rate often reached 160 bpm)
- Memory loss
- Brain fog
- Tinnitus
- Sensitivity to light and sound
- Flu-like symptoms
- Heavy limbs
Eventually, I received a diagnosis: CFS/M.E. But it didn’t bring clarity or solutions. I quickly realised I would need to take charge of my own healing. As soon as I could read again, I devoted all my energy to answering three critical questions.
Why did I become ill?
In many cases, this condition develops over time. Chronic stress and trauma slowly overwhelm the nervous system. For some, a single triggering event—like an accident, a virus, or a major loss—starts it. For others, personality traits like perfectionism or people-pleasing wear the system down. In my case, it was a mix of all of these. The warning signs had been there for years, but I ignored them. I now believe those were my brain’s way of asking for help.
What is happening to me?
This perfect storm disrupted my nervous system. It became hypersensitive and stayed stuck in a state of high alert. In response, I experienced fatigue, pain, tinnitus, nausea, dizziness, and more. Some experts believe the brain’s software becomes faulty. Others suggest the brain is working as intended—trying to protect you from further harm.
Many theories try to explain what happens biologically: cortisol spikes, mitochondrial issues, autonomic nervous system imbalances, digestive changes, immune disruptions. While interesting, I don’t think understanding every detail is essential to recovery.
What can I do to recover?
After countless hours of research, I created a holistic recovery strategy. I don’t believe a magic pill will ever fix this. Healing requires a multi-faceted approach—one that restores balance to the nervous system and addresses the root cause, not just the symptoms.
In January 2023, I finally had enough energy to dive deep, and read over 300 recovery stories and spent more than 600 hours studying CFS/M.E., the brain-body connection, and why people remain stuck. I also joined a recovery program with two experienced CFS coaches.
I began noticing clear patterns among those who got better. Many people were recovering from housebound through CFS states, Long Covid, Fibromyalgia, and similar conditions. Their approaches often shared common elements.
A new framework for healing
From this, I developed my own RESTAND framework. It helped me recover, and I now use it with my clients. I’ve also worked with the NHS in England on nervous system disorders and supporting people in several countries.
This journey has taught me more than I ever imagined—about myself, the medical system, and the true nature of chronic illness. When I was at my lowest, lying in bed with no hope, I promised myself that if I ever recovered, I would dedicate my life to helping others do the same.
Dive deeper into Stuart’s amazing work: https://www.mecfsrecoverycoaching.com/
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Email: S-porter4@sky.com
